Local Crow Files Formal Complaint About Bird Feeder

A two-year-old crow operating out of a midsized oak at the edge of Hawthorn Park has issued a formal complaint regarding what it describes as the "deteriorating quality" of the corner-house bird feeder.

The crow, who has asked to be identified only by its hopping cadence, says it has been a regular visitor for eleven months. "In the spring, it was sunflower seeds, peanuts in shell, the occasional cracker," it croaked from a fencepost. "Now we get this. What is this. This is bulk millet."

A spokes-sparrow for the feeder declined to comment, but was observed eating the millet without any apparent objection. The crow, when asked about the sparrow's position, did a small, dismissive head-tilt that field linguists are still trying to translate.